A new beginning
by Scylla09
Summary: Fay comes back to Charming for a new beginning. Maybe a new beginning for someone else too? Don't like? Don't ease do not review if you are not interested. English isn't my native language so please forgive my spelling mistakes.
1. Chapter 1

Fay sighed as she stretched her back. Here she was back in the little town her father had called home. Sixteen years had passed and the town hadn't changed it seemed.

She walked up to what she remembered was the office of the Teller Morrow Garage. The door was open en as Fay looked in, she saw the woman that, at one point in her life, was like an aunt to her.

Fay smiled remembering many memories, Gemma hadn'd changed much. Still the bikerqueen in leather.

Fay knocked and waited for an awnser.

"Yes can I help you?"

"Hello Gemma."

Gemma looked up from her work and stared at a woman in her thirties. Trying to place the things she registered in context she askes: "I know I'm suppost to remember you and I know we met before. Help an old lady out and help me?"

Fay smiled her biggest smile and awnsered: I know it's been 16 years but I haven't changed that much have I?"

"Sixteen years... Tommie oh my ... Fay?"

"In the flesh!"

Gemma pulled Fay into a hug. She stood back and gave Fay the once over.

"You have changed sweetie, the last time I saw you you were a redhead with a lot of anger about your dad."

"I know, but I've grown up since then. It's been a crazy couple of years. I hoped I could stay here for a while?"

"Jax and Ope are going to be in shock that you're back. But you alone? No man in your life?" she asked pointing at Fays very pregnant belly.

"He died 'bout 6 months ago in Afganistan. I'm good me and the kid."

"Your mom?"

"Still in Holland."

"Come on let's get you inside and find the boys."

Gemma and Fay had a laugh as they walked into the clubhouse.

"Jax? Opie?" Gemma called out.

"What mom?"

"Hello cousin!"

Jax stared at the strange woman in his clubhouse for a while. Then it clicked.

"Fay Whitney? What the fuck are you doing here and how did you get so ..."

"Don't even finish that sentence amigo if you want to life. I might be pregnant but I can still kick your but like when we were little."

"Same old Fay." Jax replied pulling her into a warm hug. "what brings you back here?"

"Long story. I need my family right now and here I am."


	2. Chapter 2

Fay settled back in her pillows. Gemma had put her up in her house and to be honest she was happy to stay with the queen bee.

Six months it had been since that day. The day that, for the second time in 3 months, had altered her world. Mack was dead. Killed while cleaning up a minefield near a girls school in Afghanistan. According to his superiors he was killed instantly.

Mack was a good guy. He knew about her father and the MC and after Tommie died and her mom left for Europe, he had been her home, her life. It wasn't love at first site, like the ones you read about in fairytales and if she looked back now they weren't even soul mates but their life together was good. She loved him and he loved her and the baby was very welcome.

She thought back to their last vacation together. They had just found out about the baby and he whisked her of to some secluded cabin near Big Bear.

She was sitting in the bay window overlooking the surrounding mountains.

_"In this quiet little place,__  
><em>_I can't remember having known a different pace__  
><em>_In this quiet little place,__  
><em>_I can surrender to the beauty of its face._

_And now everything I see__  
><em>_Whether it's an airplane or a tree__  
><em>_It makes me wonder__  
><em>_About the things I must have missed__  
><em>_And the chains around my wrists__  
><em>_They are no longer "_

Growing up in Charming California with a father who was in an MC and a mother whose only goal was to get the hell out of there, felt like being chained sometimes.

She was 10 when her mom decided she had enough of the biker life and of her boyfriend.

She took Fay back to her home country Holland and fed Fay lies about her old man.

Fay knew that now.

When he died she was 18 and full of anger. She went to his funeral and after the service Gemma had confronted her.

It had mixed up all of her emotions and after she had confronted her mother she found shelter with Jack.

She hardly spoke a word to her mother after that.

And now she was going to be a mother herself.

_"In this quiet little place__  
><em>_I can't imagine what it's like to be back home__  
><em>_Where they care about what time it is__  
><em>_And spend their days answering the phone_

_And now everything I feel__  
><em>_Whether it's fiction or it's real__  
><em>_It's so much clearer__  
><em>_Like the color of this light__  
><em>_It seems more dangerous and bright__  
><em>_But I don't fear her_

_And slowly it fades, I'm back in the race__  
><em>_I have to fight it, I know__  
><em>_I don't want to go away_

_In this quiet little place__  
><em>_You run your fingers through my hair and whisper "Hey"__  
><em>_And no matter how I try, I can't seem to think of anything better to say "_

That trip seemed like a million years ago now.

She missed him. It had taken her some time to figure out where to go from there.

Her mom wasn't an option but she wanted to be near family.

At first she hadn't even though of staying in Charming. She was going to visit her father's grave, say Hi to her childhood friends and head out to San Francisco.

But somehow she changed her mind when she arrived in Charming.

"Knock knock!"

Fay looked up from her thoughts to find a raven haired woman holding a toddler.

"Hey, I'm Tara and this is Thomas. Gemma told me to go up en have a chat with you."

Tara, Tara? Fay knew that name. When she was little there had been a girl at her school named Tara.

"He's Jackson's son isn't he?"she asked.

Tara smiled and nodded.

"You used to live here when you were little didn't you?"

"Yep! But my mom took me away when I was ten not long after Jackson's brother died. You were in my school. And you are Jax'old lady."

It wasn't a question.

Both women smiled.

"Thomas here was named after Jackson's brother and I believe Gemma named him after your dad."

"She did I think."

"Are you staying for long?"

"I don't know, I didn't even plan to stay at all. But I don't think Gemma is going to let me give birth anywhere else but here."

"Stay, it will be nice to have another woman here who knows the life but also knows what life is without the MC."

The women chatted for a while and Thomas looked at Fay's belly.

"Baby?"

"Yes Thomas there's a baby in there."

"Tommie big boy now mama. That baby!" the little boy smiled at this mother.

Not long after Gemma announced diner and the three of them went downstairs.

Note the lyrics used are from an incredible band called K's Choice.


	3. Chapter 3

Diner went the way it usually went, the men chatting about work , the MC and a lot more.

Tara and Gemma took care of everthing and Fay pitched in as well.

Gemma had started about the baby but Fay told her she and the baby were fine and she 'd be helping out.

Fay remembered some of the members from long ago en even from the funeral.

She, Opie and Jax were kids when she left for Europe. They had all changed so much since then.

Tig and Clay hadn't it appeared, although she felt the tension between the old man and Jax.

After diner the girls disapeared to the kitchen to finish up the dishes as Jax played with his sons.

Fax rubbed her back for a moment when a man she understook to be Chibs appeared behind her. He looked worriedand grabbed her wrist.

"Hey little lassie how 'bout sitting down now. "

He exchanged a look with Gemma and she was gently pushed to the back porch.

Before Chibs knew what was going on he felt his hand being twisted in the oposite way and he was forced to let go of her hand.

"Relax lassie I wasn't trying anything! "

"Fay, he knows his stuff, he was a medic in the army, you need to sit down. You're tired and that's not good for you or the baby." Gemma agreed.

Fay's expression was angry but knowing not to go against the Mother Hen she decided to sit down.

Chibs was rubbing his wrist. The lady had more strenght than he expected from a pregnant woman.

Gemma walked back to the kitchen and nodded to Chibs to come along.

"Sorry 'bout that, should have told you Fay doesn't like to be cornered like that. Her defences just kicked in, she didn't mean to twist your arm."

Chibs smiled; "No harm, she's very strong. I should have guessed she learned defending herself with all the men around here."

Gemma just shook her head and handed him a glass of milk.

"Give it to her, she has to drink more of it and I know she hates it. The baby needs it and so does she and maybe she'll drink it because she wants to make things right with you."

"She doesn't know me that well so why would she?"

"Because I knew her mother and she was thought to do the right thing." gemma anwsered; "she already feels me!"

"Truce?" Chibs walked up to Fay handing her the glass.

She took it without questioning.

"Sorry! I shouldn't have done that. Blame the hormones."

"No worries!"

"you wanna sit?"Fay asked as she moved to make some more room.

Chibs sat down besides her and just stared into the garden.

Fay rubbed her tummy and Chibs smiled; Baby kicking?"

Fay smiled.

"When are you due?"

"Three more weeks if everything goes as planned."

"Boy or Girl?"

Fay shot him a dirty look

Chibs raised his arms in defence: "What? most american women know."

"I'm not fully american, and baby here doesn't want me to or she hasn't revealed it's gender yet. Besides I don't care what I'm having as long as it's healthy!"

"That's all that matters!" Gemma relpied; "Good girl bottom's up!"

Fay just laughed and nodded her head.


	4. Chapter 4

sorry for not updating

my friend is moving to her new home so I spend my days helping out.

I'll be back asap


	5. Chapter 5

Fay was upset when she entered the little office Gemma occupied.

"What's wrong honey?"

"I'm nine days late, my feet hurt and worst of all I can't really feel the baby move."

"For how long?"

"I don't know, a couple of hours, at first I thought he or she was sleeping but normally when I take a nap, baby here starts to move and plays soccer with my blatter."

"Ok no arguements you're going to hospital."

Fay was to tired and scared to argue.

"Chibs, Juice get in here!"

The guys walked in and Gemma explained what was going on.

Gemma got her car and Fay got in and they quickly went to hospital.

Fay was straped in and a fetal monitor was attached to her belly.

Gemma got Tara to come and have a look and she smiled at the young woman in the bed.

"Baby is doing just fine and by the looks of it you only have practice contractions."

"So now what?"

" I can try to losen the membranes,it could trigger the contractions but it can be painful and it might nog work."

"Try it, this little one needs to see the world."

"If it doesn't work we will schedule the birth in 3 days"

Fay was back home after her visit to the hospital.

The machines hardly registered any contractions so she was shipped of back home.

At TM the guys had been all over her with worries and Fay just wanted to be left alone.

Tara had hurt her, not as bad as expected but it hurt none the less.

Now she was sitting on the sofa after a long shower.

These practice contractions were getting worse.

"Knock Knock, ya home lassie?"

"Yeah, living room!"

Chibs came in with a box of treats from the local delli.

"What are you doing here?"

"Gemma was worried 'bout yeh" he awnsered ; "Yeh know she love yeh ."

"Just Gemma?" Fay asked with a grin.

Chibs blushed slightly and handed her a turned it down saying she wasn't hungry.

At that time she felt a stinging pain in her abdomen.

Could it be? was this a real contraction?

She used her breathing techniques to get through it.

"Lassie yeh in labor .Tell me what yeh want me teh do?"

"Nothing much, I need to time them and when they ar 'bout 10 to 5 minutes apart I need to get to hospital."

"Yeh need me to call Gemma?"

"No just stay!"


	6. Chapter 6

**It had been 3 hours since she was released from the hospital and Fay's contractions were getting stronger and stronger.**

**She sauntered around the house in an attempt to get comfortable.**

**She wasn't hungry but knew she had to eat something to keep up her strenght. The thought alone made her ****nauseous.**

**Chibs was sitting in the livingroom of Gemma's house flipping through the different tv shows. Nothing interesting. **

**He had tried to get Fay to sit down and relax a bit, but soon found out Fay had a mind of her own. **

**Now he was getting nervous but sauntering around the house seemed to calm Fay down and that was more important.**

**Fay knew the first delivery usually took a while so she took another shower to easy the pain. While showering she felt the frequency increase untill the point where there was almost no time between them.**

**Fay got scared. This wasn't supposed to go so fast was it?**

**She got out of the shower and tossed on an oversized shirt when she felt her water break.**

**"Chibs!"**

**"Aye Lassie?"**

**"My water just broke."**

**Filip walked into the bathroom and saw Fay on her knees trying to breath through the contractions.  
>"How long 'part are teh?"<strong>

**"No time." Fay managed to get out between breaths.**

**"Come on let's get jeh to St. Thomas."**

**Fay nodded her head. Chibs helped her get up and get her downstairs.**

**"Yeh bag?"**

**"Bedroom!"**

**He ran up to her bedroom and located the overnight bag with all the things she needed as he heard a load moan.**

**"I don't think we're gonna make it to the hospital Chibs, this little one doesn't want wo wait that long."**

**She puffed through another contraction.**

**He speeddialled his Prez and as fast as he could explained the situation and he grabbed towels and put on some water. Why he didn't know but that's what they did in the movies so it must have some purpose.**

**Now a little bit of panic kicked in with Chibs as well. Sure he had some medical training but this was a whole new ballgame. Fiona had delivered Kerrianne in hospital with doctors there. This was a home, not a hospital and he sure as hell was no doctor.**

**Fay had settled in the livingroom on the floor with a couple of pillows stuffed around her.**

**Chibs joined her and held her hand.**

**"Tara is coming with Jax and so is Gemma, baby, hang in there. Gemma wanna to talk to yeh."**

**If Fay had been able to kill the poor man at that moment she would have and she shot him a look that was all telling.**

**"****Gemma. she's a wee bit busy at the moment, so if yeh could just get here."**

**Fay nodded. **

**This was strange ,for the first time in a couple of hours she was painfree for a moment.**

**Just a moment it was before the contractions changed to the ones her body needed to push the baby out.**

**"Filip, the baby is coming now, I need to push!"**

**"Hold on!" Chibs grabbed a wet wascloth and put it on her forhead.**

**It was a nice gesture but it didn't sit well with Fay.**

**The cloth was annoying her and the water that ran across her face gave her the chills.**

**She grabbed the cloth and tossed it away, not really caring where it ended up.**

**Fay missed chib's head by a few inches.**

**He just smiled and let it pass. Normally nobody would have gotten away with that but he knew better than to mess with a woman in labor.**

**Fay was getting tired. She tried to push the baby out but somehow It took a while.**

**She felt the head drop a few inches.**

**"Filip you need to help assist the baby out. "**

**Fay pushed and the baby's head appeared.**

**Chins cleaned the mouth and checked the ****umbilical cord. **

**"Aye a full head of hair honey. Yeh doin'great."**

**Two more pushes and the baby was out.**

**A load cry followed .**

**"What is it?"**

**"A maise lass."**

**"Is she ok?"**

**"She is perfect! " Chibs grabbed a warm towel and wrapped the babygirl into a warm bundle.**

**"There yeh go ****Ceann beag! here's yeh mama!" Chibs told the baby as he handed her to her mother.**

**Filip was so proud. Of the baby for being ok, for her mother for doing this without any form of painmedication or doctors and of himself for bringing this beautiful babygirl into the world.**

**He looked up from the peaceful scene of mother and child when he heard the sounds of bikes outside the house as well as a couple of cars.**

**"Hen, I need to open the door, yeh alright here?"**

**Fay nodded and stared at her newborn daughter in awe.**

**When Chibs opened the door the was pushed aside by both Gemma and Tara.**

**They rushed inside and saw mother and daughter on the floor.**

**Tara tied of the umbilical cord and asked Fay is she wanted to cut it herself.**

**Fay blushed and looked at Chibs ; " You helped me, I'd like it if you do it. That is if you aren't grossed out?"**

**Filip just smiled a million watt smile and took the scissors from Tara.**

**He cut the cord and smiled at both mother and child.**

**Tara asked to check out the babygirl and reluctantly Fay let go of her baby.**

**Gemma called the guys in and Chibs and Jax lifted Fay up from the floor.**

**"You ok honey?"**

**"Yeah just tired. Tara is she ok?"**

**Tara smiled; "She's just perfect, you did great! Now how 'bout you?"**

**"I think I'm ok."**

**"I need to check you out, you up for walking?"**

**"No need!"Chibs replied before Fay could as he lifted her up in his arms and carried her to her bedroom.**

**Fay was fine. With the assistance of Gemma she took a shower and put on some clean clothes.**

**Fay got into her bed and Gemma handed her the babygirl. **

**Gemma kissed the top of Fay's head.**

**"You did good kid!" She said; "The first Samcro princess in a long time!"**

**"Knock, knock!"**

**Gemma walked to the door and opened it; "Baby I'll be downstairs, you talk but you need your rest so kick him out when you're tired!"**

**Chibs smiled at Gemma as he passed her and walked into Fay's room.**

**"Aye Darlin' how are yeg two?"**

**"Tired, on cloud nine,a little sad and so much more!"**

**"Sad?"**

**Fay nodded; "Don't get me wrong, I love the poeple here and what you did for me is amazing but I miss her dad."**

**She looked at her ravenheared little girl and sighed.**

**"I understand Lassie, it's not what you plan when you decide to have a baby."**

**"Oh well, it's reality."**

**Fay sat up more straight and Chibs sat down next to her.**

**"You wanna hold her?" she asked.**

**Chibs smiled, he had hoped she would ask but didn't dare ask.**

**"Aye!"**

**Fay laid the sleeping beauty in the schotsman's arms and smiled.**

**"Thank you!"**

**Chibs looked up to her face as he craddled the babygirl like he had done so many years ago with Kerrianne. **

**"For What?"**

**"For being there, helping me!"**

**"Anytime Darlin', no other place to be anyways!"**

**Fay smacked his arm slightly; "tease!"**

**Gemma looked around the corner at the scene in front of her and smiled.**

**To anyone who didn't know the story it looked like the perfect family. Mommy, daddy and baby. With her raven hear she could pass as Chibs daughter with ease.**

**"So what's her name?"**

**"Keira!"**

**Fay yawned and Chibs softly passed the babygirl to her mother. **

**Next to her bed was a small crib and she settled the sleeping baby and covered her with a pink blanket.**

**" ****Yeh need to get some shut eye, love!"**

**Chibs kissed the top of her head .**

**"Filip?"**

**"Aye?"**

**"Thanks for everything!"**

**"No worries! sweet dreams!"**


	7. Chapter 7

_Just a short one for now.I'm working on more but I have a puppy and housetraining her takes up most of my time._

_I'll be back soon and thanks!_

Fay's life had turned upside down.

Keira was the perfect baby, eating and sleeping well.

After a few weeks Fay had started working again.

"Hey what ya doing?" Tara asked her new found friend.

"You sound like the little girl in that disney show, hmm what's her name... Oh yeah Isabella from Phineas and Ferb."

Tara looked at her like she had completely lost her marbles.

"Who? and what?"

"never mind, I've been watching way too much tv lately!" Fay replied; "What's up?"

"The boys are with Gemma and I got off early so I deceided to pay you a visit."

"Ok, lety me just mail this article and I'm ready."

Tara smiled, the young woman had settled into motherhood nicely.

"How on earth did you become a bigtime magazine publisher?"

"Luck! And a friend who left me a lot of money to get started."

Fay was lucky and she knew she was, she had a beautiful daughter and a great job that allowed her to work from hom. Gemma's home that was, but still.

Charming had become a home for Fay and she was surprised at how well she fitted in with these outlaw bikers.

She had become friends with all the guys, though she still didn't konw what to think of Tig.

She and Juice had found common ground in computers, internet and that stuf.

Chibs had been by a lot to check on her and the babygirl he had brought into this world.

They had formed a strange bond, on one hand there was the beautiful experience they shared on the other the teased and arguid a lot.

Fay had no idea why.

"Tara I need some advise, I have to go to a booklaunch in New York and I have to bring a date."

"So?"

"I don't have a date!"

"Aha and asking one of the guys here would raise eyebrows! I got it."

"Yeah but now what?"

"Hmm, let's see, Juice?"

"I don't think the tattoos on his head will go well."

"Ok, Tig and Happy are out of the question as well, Opie is not up for a party like that. That leaved Jax and Chibs."

"I'm not borrowing Jax from you Tara, he need to be here with you and the boys!"

"Ok that leaves Chibs, I'm sure he can clean up well."Tara laughed.

"Yeah right, like he would come and dress up in a fancy suit."

"Only one way to find out!"


	8. Chapter 8

Sorry everyone for the delay.

I have a puppy and she takes up a lot of my time and so is my daughter.

I wrote a chapter further in the story already but I need to figure out how to connect that to the rest of the story.

I will be back asap.


	9. Chapter 9

"Hey Chuck, where's everyone?"

"Hmm Out, ya know!"

"Club business?"

"Yeah, sorry!"

"That's okay, I understand, same as always. Any idea when they'll be back?"

"ehh no!"

With that Fay took off again.

She remembered the times when her dad was away, nothing had changed. Strangely enough she didn't mind.

She dropped Keira off at Tara's and went into town to check out the houses that were for sale. Not that she didn't like living with Gemma but she felt the time had come to find a place of her own.

After visiting several houses with an agent she found a lovely cottage with a nice garden not too far from Tara and Gemma.

She called her financial advisor and bought the house.

No she had two things to worry about, Gemma being angry for her moving out and Chibs and the deal with New York. She still hadn't asked him.

Later that night the guys still weren't home. Fay was staying at Tara's place and watching the kids as Tara had to work.

She heard the key in the lock and expected Jax to walk in.

Instead she looked at the bruised face of Chibs. Closely followed by a similair looking Jackson.

"What the hell happened to you? Or should I ask who?"

"Neither!" Jax grawled at her; "Where's Tara?"

"Working."

"Damm!"

Fay guided both men to the kitchen. "You two stay her and don't wake the kids, I'll get the firstaid kit."

Fay found it in the bathroom and returned to both men.

Jax had washed his face and after that he didn't look as bad as she had thought it was.

"Tara's gonna be upset with you!" she told her surrogate brother as she applied some bandages.

Then she turned to Chibs. He looked worse than Jax, as she expected from the Sergeant at Arms

"Looks like you'll live as well!"she told him as she cleaned his cuts."You still need Tara to check these out though!"

"You broke any ribs or anything else?"

"No! Jax and Chibs replied.

"Let me guess, you're not gonna let me check?"

"Hmmm!"

"Tara will check you guys out and she'll kill ya both if you're keeping anything from us."

She gave both men some painkillers.

When she walked in with some cold drinks and an icepack to keep the swelling down, she grabbed the bottle of scotch Chibs was holding.

"Beter not be mixing these pills with alcohol babe, Tara will have my head and since I obviousely use it more then you do, I need it the hell did you do, confront a mobster or something. This looks personal!"

The men didn't awnser her, leaving Fay with more questions then awnsers.

What the hell was the club into now!

"Jax you need to get to bed and pray your boys aren't shocked in the morning, as for you Chibs , I'll give you a ride home, you can pick up the damm bike tomorrow."

She went to pick up Keira and placed her in the carseat.

With the baby on one arm she grabbed Chibs' arm with the other.

"Let's Go, Night Jax tell Tara I'll see her tomorrow!"

"Night!"

Chibs and Fay drove off in silence. Neither felt the need to talk.

As she dropped Chibs off at TM she got out of the car.

She glanced over the cuts and bruises on the scotsman's face.

"You gonna be okay tonight?"

"Aye lass I'll be fine, yeh know me, though as nails."

"Yeah right!" she snorted.

"Fay?"

"Yeah?"

Chibs had grabbed her hands and pulled her close.

"Thank yeh for tonight, love!" he whispered as his lips gently touched hers.

Fay felt her heart flutter.

"well Goodnight lass beter get the baby home!"

"Sure!"

Chibs waited while she got in the car and drove off to Gemma's.

"Damm what the hell am I gonna do now!"


	10. Chapter 10

Weeks past and it was business as usual in Charming.

Fay had fired an editor from one of her magazines for printing rubish about kids edication so now she was a working on writing articles as well as checking them.

She still hadn't asked Chibs for the party but had found out he had to be in New York for Club business.

Since their kiss nothing had happened.

No words, no touches no nothing.

She was starting to believe she had imagened the whole incident.

And to make things worse , they had started arguing most of the time.

She didn't want to, but somehow it happened.

There were no more double lines, small touches and the occasional flirt.

Fay was getting grumpy.

She had told Gemma she was going to the party on her own and Gemma had just laughed and told her that wasn't her call anymore.

Keira was now 6 months and was growing as weed. She was starting to sit up and laughed the whole day.

Whenever Fay took her to TM she was the centre of attention with the guys.

Strangely enough Tig was very amused and taken with the babygirl and made funny faces to make her laugh.

Fay just smiled, Tig wasn't her favorite person in the world but he was growing on her.

"Juicy I need some help, can you get my damm computer to work as it should?"

"Sure!"he smiled.

Juice and Fay had connected and found a commen interest in gadgets, computers and smartphones. None of the sons were that interested in it and talking to Fay about it was fun.

Juice had learned that Fay had inhereted a lot of money from her dad, that she had put to good use. She owned an apartment in New York, a publishing enterprise, the house in Charming and some investments.

She wasn't cocky about it and worked hard , mostly from home.

Gemma walked into the courtyard of TM and saw Fay hanging out with Juice. She was laughing about someting he told her. Chibs was looking from the garage looking grim.

"What scotsman, you don't like her talking to Juice?"

"She ain't mine so she can talk to anyone."

"But you don't like it!"

"Neh! but with the Fiona thing I can't give her what she needs."

"So?"

"So I have to stay away from her and bite me tongue!"

"Not if you talk to your so called wife!"

"She's never gonna give me a divorce."

"Probably! but you deserve to be happy too and so does a man and do something about it!"

"Chibs, I need you to go to New York and have a word with the guys there. Fay is going to be there as well at somesort of party so I need you to go with her and keep her safe." Jax told his SAG.

"Well that's gonna be fun."he replied sarcasticly.

"Don't care, whatever it takes. Fay and the club are your responsibility

now."

Chibs sighed, this was not going to be easy.

Maybe he should give Fiona a call, after all she left him for Jimmy.

That weekend Chibs and Fay went to New York. Thank good Fay had arranged a private fligh, because she knew flying with a son could prove difficult with law inforcement.

They got a cab and Fay gave the man the got out in the middle of New York on the edge of Central Park.

"What are we doin' here lass?"

"Sleep, eat whatever. I own an apartement here!"

She walked in and was greeted by the old man at the receptiondesk.

They took the elevator up and got out halfway. She unlocked the door and walked in.

"Ok This is the kitchen, Livingroom, bathroom and there is my bedroom. The one on the other side is yours for the weekend. I'm going to change and after that I'm off shopping."

"Okay!"

"I know you have club business so do your thing. I'll tell Francios to let you in and there is an extra key at the dresser."

With that she took off into her bedroom leaving Chibs alone withn his thoughts.

Fay had spend most of the afternoon shopping for babyclothes, presents for Tara's boys and some early christmas presents.

Chibs had spend his time at the NY clubhouse when he got a text on his cell.

"Meeting up with some friends won't be home for diner, Don't wait up,see ya tomorrow!"

His mood was dropping by the god the Sons had enough liquor

around.

When he got to the apartment he had found out Fay already went to bed so he did so as well. The booze was getting to him and he was out as soon as he hit his pillow.

The next morning he was greeted by an actue headacke and he heard the shower running.

Fay was in a good mood. She had a lovely diner with some old friends from Holland who were in town by accident.

When she got out of the shower she was greeted by the smell of coffee.

"Hey!"

"Aye!Coffee?"

"No thanks, you want to go out for breakfast? I'm not around enough to keep the food stocked so ..."

"Yeah sure give me 15 minutes, I'll hop in the shower."

Breakfast was simple, a diner around the corner served great pancakes and that's all either of them needed.

"What time do yeh need to be at the party?"

"Somewhere around 7 but I'll be fashionably late."she smiled

"got plans for today?"

"Nope, I need to pick up a toy I ordered for Keira so I'll probably end up shopping again. What about you?"

"No plans!"

"Wanna come?"

"And be you errand boy? Yeah that will be fun!"He replied sarcasticly.

"You don't have to, I just thought it would be nice. You can see what I got Keira! But forget about it!"

Ohh now she was getting pissed, that wasn't what he wanted and a pissed off Fay would annoy Jax even more.

"Neh I'm kiddin'. I'll come with yeh!"

"Good than we can get you a suit for tonight as well."

Chibs almost choked on his coffee; "I do not wear a suit Fay, forget it!"

"You have to, and just be glad it's not black tie!"

"Nope I ain't going!"

"You want me to call Jax?"

"You wouldn't !"

"oh yeah, Jax told me you'd come so you're wearing a suit."

"Just forget about me wearing a tie!"

"We'll see!"

A couple of hours later, Chibs had his suit sans tie and Fay had her presents.

She was holding most of the bags, Chibs held on to his word he was no errend boy!

At the apartement Fay called for some food and after diner wen't to chance into something more suitable for the party.

She hated these things but the came with being boss.

She gave herself the onceover in the mirror before she emerged.

Chibs was on the phone talking to Jax when she walked in.

She was wearing a simple black dress with crossed ties at the back.

Her hair was down, not in the ponytail she was know for and her makeup was darker than normal.

When chibs turned around he almost dropped his phone.

"Gotta go Jackieboy, Fay is ready."

He turned his phone off and just looked at her.

"Yeh look .. beautiful!"

"Thanks !"she blushed; "You clean up well too!"

The party was boring. Fay had talked to all the people she needed to in record time and wanted to get out as quicly as she would.

She had to stay untill the first dance and that's what she did.

Her senior partner had asked her for a dance and the auther of the recently published novel was the next one.

Fay had told Chibs that she found him to be a creep and when the guy's hand was sliding to far down, Filip deceided enough was enough.

"May I cut in!" and without waiting for an awnser he took Fay in his arms.

"I thought you didn't dance?"

"I don't! Bit that guy was grabbing ass a little too much and I didn't think you wanted a corpse at the party."

"Nope! You want to get out of here?"

"Neh , Aye'll let yeh have this one dance with me!"

They took a cab home and Fay kicked of her shoes.

"That's better!" she sighed.

Chibs was right behind her and when she turned around she ended up in his arms.

"Filip Thanks for tonight, I..."

Chibs cut her off, gently pressing his lips against hers.

She wrapped her arms around his neck and deepened the kiss.

They broke apart and their eyes locked.

"Night princess!"

Filip kissed her forehead and went into his bedroom.

Fay was stunned and went into her own. She heard the shower turn on and just sighed.

"That girl is gonna be the death me one of these days. Damm I need to talk to Fiona!"


	11. Chapter 11

_This stroy is lightly based on an episode of The Flying Doctors.I loved it so much so I did a little rewriting for SOA_

_Fay and chibs are stuck in Piney's cabin during a storm._

_Back in charming everyone is curious about what is going on between them._

_They get back in Charming and Fay gets cornered by Tara and Chibs by Juice._

_Then she finds out he's married to Fiona_

"So what do you thing is going on with the two of them now?" Tara asked Gemma during diner.

The whole family had gathered around the table.

Gemma just smiled as she fed Thomas a spoon full of veggies.

"The cabin is fully stocked so I'm sure they will have everything they need."

They won't need much!"Tara smiled; "Stuck in that tiny cabin in a storm"

"What, Fay and Chibs no way that's gonna happen. All they do lately is argue." Jax said joining the conversation between his mother and his wife.

"Exactly! "Tara replied.

"How is that a sign for romance?"

"Men!" Gemma sighed; "It's like in those romance novels. They start out almost hating each other but the reason they argue is because they are secretly in love."

"Sure mom whatever, I still don't see this happening. You have been reading many of those novels?"

Gemma shot her son a look that could kill.

Fay parked her car in Gemma's driveway and grabbed the carseat with baby Keira.

Behind her she heard the familiar sound of Chibs bike pulling up.

"Aye!"

"Hi."

Chibs walked Fay to Gemma's door.

"I guess i'll see yeh sometime today."

"Yeah."

"Yeh need to rest lov."

"No time, I need to work I have a deadline."

"Get some rest ok?"

"I'll try."

Fay walked in and passed Gemma in the hallway.

Gemma raised an eyebrow and took the babygirl from Fay.

"I'll put her down sweetie, you take a shower and relax ok."

Fay nodded and headed into the bathroom.

Chibs went back to the clubhouse took a long cold shower and went to the garage.

Jax and Juice were working on a car when he came in.

"Hey old man, how was it!" Jax asked his sergeant.

Chibs just ignored the question and went about his business.

"The storm i mean man, how was the storm? "

Chibs just sighed; "wet loud and long, but yeh know all that."

"Come on Chibs tell us, you were looked in a cabin with a beautiful girl like Fay all night. Jax here has his old lady but I still need some pointers man!" Juice asked his friend.

Tara had made her way to Gemma's house and dropped of the boys.

"She's not telling me anything, you try!" Gemma told her as she picked up Thomas.

Tara went upstairs to find Fay.

"Hey, you tired?"

"I'm ok."

"I heard you got stuck with Chibs in the cabin."

"Yeah."

"You want to talk about it? I heard you talked to Fiona. That must have been weird!"

"Yeah!"

"So what happened last night, you and Chibs talked?"

"Yeah we did."

"So?"

"So what Tara, what do you want me to say. Where should I start?"

"The beginning would be a nice start?"

"Ok I got up yesterday, fed Keira..."

"Fay! The cabin and Chibs that's what i meant!"

_Fay's view:_

_Fay had gone up to the cabin to think. Keira was sound asleep and she was thinking about earlier events._

_Earlier that week she was at Tm when the phone rang. She awnsered as Gemma was busy._

_"Teller Morrow Garage how can I help you?"_

_"Put Filip on now!"a voice demanded._

_Fay was surprised to hear an irish accent ; "He's busy at the moment can I give him a message?"_

_"Aye tell him to call me!"_

_"And me would be?"_

_"His wife!"_

_Fay felt the earth shutter. Chibs was married and he never told her._

_She felt her heart break, for the forst time in a long time she was allowing herself feelings about man. Strong feelings she hadn't felt since she had been a teenager._

_When Chibs came into the office later that day and wrapped his arms around her waist, she had pushed him away._

_Chibs was surpised and grabbed her wrist._

_"Aye what is it lassie? What did I do to yeh to make yeh so angry?"_

_"It's what you didn't do!"she spat out._

_Chibs looked at her puzzled_

_Fay tossed a piece of paper at him and rushed out._

_She got in her car and drove of._

_Chibs looked at the piece of paper ._

_Chibs call wife at..._

_"Oh god no! " he sighed._

_Fay had raced home and picked up Keira from the babysitter._

_She called Gemma from the car and told her she needed some alone time to think._

_Gemma had told her to take the keys for the cabin._

_"Chibs" _

_"Aye!"_

_"I just got a strange call from Fay, what the hell did you do?"_

_"Why do yeh think I did something?"_

_"Because Fay is upset and the baby's fine. The only think I can think of is You! "_

_"Fiona called here. Fay took the call!" Chibs told Gemma as he showed het the note._

_Gemma smacked him around with it; "You idiot, you have a change at being happy again and you let this bitch screw you over again."_

_"I don't even know where Fay's at."_

_"She's at the cabin. Make this right! Fiona should not be a factor in this."_

_Flashback:_

_Fay was alone with her thoughts when she heard a bike arrive at the cabin._

_She knew it was Chibs without looking. She always senced he was around since the day Keira was born._

_That stubborn old scotsman had gotten under her skin and she felt like a sucker for it._

_"Fay open up!"_

_"Go away!"_

_"I'm not leaving untill you understand."_

_"what's there to understand, you're married! You kissed me but you're married to someone else."_

_"Fay open up, I'm not haven this talk through a door and I don't wanna scare Keira!"_

_Fay sighed and opened the door._

_She stood there, arms crossed across her chest._

_"Talk!"_

_I'm not involved with Fiona lov!"_

_"She's your wife . How much more involved do you want it to be."_

_"She has been with another man for years. Took my little girl away from me and had her raised by abother man,The same one who did this" he said pointing to his scars._

_"Jimmy O?"_

_Filip nodded._

_"How?" she asked him stepping away from the door so he could enter._

_Filip told her the whole story. In the short time he had gotten to know Fay, he had learned that just like Tara wanted as little secrets as possible._

_Sometime during their conversation a storm had broken out and rain was pooring down._

_"I'm sorry Filip but I've been lied to too many times in my life, especially by people that claim they love me. You should have told me!I thought we were friends."_

_"We are! I'm sorry Lov!"_

_"Sometimes being sorry is just not enough!"_

_"Fay please?"_

_Fay just turned around and faced the window._

_Chibs'phone rang._

_"Aye Jackieboy, what is it? What? No that's not ganna !"_

_Fay looked at Chibs questionable._

_"Ok I'll tell her!"_

_"Tell me what?"_

_"The storm has cassed the road to the cabin to flood. There is no way we're getting out of here tonight."_

_"What?"_

_"Sorry lov yeh stuck with me overnight."_

Fay's View:

"Come on Fay I thought we were friends don't do this to me!"

"Do what?"

"Don't you trust me?"

"Yeah I do."

"Then why haven't you said a word to me about what happened last night at the cabin." Tara said; Don't you want to blab about it all over the place. what's the point of being girls if we can't , you know gossip, occaisonally."

Chibs view:

Juice came up to Chibs who was under the car he was fixis. It had an oilleak and Chibs was annoyed with it.

"You could just tell me what happened last night!"

Knock; "Ouch!" Chibs bumped his had against the car at his comment.

"Aye Juice boy what do yeh wanna hear, I knew she was interested but that phonecall had almost completely ruined me chances."

Fay's View:

"So we have total privicy here, Gemma's with the kids." Tara told her friend; So what happened?"

"Oh man I feel like I'm in highschool all over again."

"Isn't that what you are suppost to feel like?"

Fay blushed highly.

_Flashback:_

_"I needed an excuse to get Chibs out of there , just so I could relax for 10 seconds and gather my thoughts about him staying there the whole night. So I asked him to get some fire wood."  
>"I started looking though the cupboards for some food and luckely Gemma had it fully stocked."<em>

_"he was soaking wet when he returned and he took of his shirt,so I handed him an extra shirt I had found but he refused to take it."_

_"Why don't you put this on?It will keep you warm."_

_"Yeh have to be joken me! What is it Fay? Me body driving you crazy?"_

_"Yeah right! with boredom maybe."_

_"Maybe I should put the wet one back on so I get pneumonia and then you need to nurse me back to health."_

_"You are incredibly!"_

_"So I've been told!"_

Fay's view:

"He actually said that?"

"Word for word!"

"He was just trying to make me nervous."

"Did it work?"

"Not for a second!"

Chibs view:

"She was nervous, I could tell."

"Did she deny it?"

"Aye! Blushing and all!"

"I love it when they do that!"

"Me too Juiceboy me too!"

"She cooked us diner and fed Keira her was cute and very I decedid To take me chance."

_Flashback:_

_"What would you say if I told yeh you're gorgeous?" _

_Silence!_

_"Nothin'!... ok"_

_"What would yeh say your smile drives me crazy!"_

_"I never smile at you!"_

_"Yeh do occasionally."_

_He stared in her eyes._

_"What would you say, if I said I'm sick of you making everthing into a joke!"_

_"I'm not joken this time. no jokes no fights. I'm not tryin'to be funny."_

_She was confused._

_"I want yeh !" Chibs walked up to Fay and closed the distance between them._

_"you think you're so smart but you're not!"_

_"I've wanted you since the first day I met yeh!"_

_Fay turned around and foccused her attention on the dishes._

_"Has it ever crossed yeh mind that there's a reason we fight most of the time?"_

_"You are unbelievable!Even if there is any chemistry between us it will never happen. You are married Filip! I'm not setting myself and Keira up for that."_

_"Fiona and me are married, aye. But we haven't been together since before I left Ireland. She went to be with Jimmy."_

_Fay snorted._

_"I find yeh incredibly attractive and I'm kinda sure you feel the same way about me!"_

_At that time Keira started to fuss so Fay focussed her attention on the little girl._

_After a while the little girl had gone back to sleep and Fay knew they were going to continue their conversation._

_"Look after I left Ireland I had shut down completely. Who is it's right mind would look at me and not see a monster. But in time the scares healed and I got into a routine. I kept te smart comments commin, I kept uninvolved, just sweetbut, but I don't think I want that anyomore."_

_So many things were going though Fay's mind._

_"Why would you think people only see your scars?"_

_"Aye it sometimes is all I see lov!"_

_"That's just .. wrong!"_

_"I remember when I first saw yeh! Shades on top of yeh head and like Tara dressed in black maternityclothes. And then there was that radiant smile!"_

_"You remember what I was wearing?"_

_"Aye, Yeh looked beautiful just a little sad. I thought to myself Oh no, not another beautiful woman! But then I found out you're one though lady and smart and funny. And then Keira was born. Yeh allowed me to be part of have told me I was shallow, but that's not the way I feel about yeh!"_

_"You are married and have a daughter and you didn't even bother to tell me. That's shallow Filip."_

_"I didn't want to mention that to yeh now would I!"_

_"I wouldn't have cared!"_

_"Maybe!"_

Chibs view:

"What do you mean just small talk. You're not gonna do this to me are you!"

"Do what juiceboy?"

"Get this far and then clam up. You can't do this to a guy. I'm in training here!"

"Sorry That's between me and the lass!"

_Flashback:_

_"Fay I never planned on this! I never planned on fallin'for yeh! Fiona made my life difficult."_

_"So how do you see this then? You and me? You and Fiona? You can't have both! I need to know. I need to protect Keira from things that could hurt her. And having you in our lives but the constant risk of your wife claming you is not good for either of us!"_

_"Aye, I need to talk to Fiona then. Because this, between us ain't goin'to pass!"_

_Fay rubbed her hands over her arms._

_"yeh getting cold and tired. Yeh need to get to bed."_

_"There is only one here!"_

_"Yeh take it, i'll sleep in the chair!"_

_"Filip, you can't, You'll ruin your back. The bed's big enough just sleep there."_

_"Yeh sure lov? "_

_"Yeah!Let's just sleep and we'll figure out how to go about this together."_

_"Does that mean yeh like me too?"_

_Fay snorted; "Like you didn't know!"_

_Chibs wrapped his arms around Fay and burried his head in her neck._

_"Night love!'_

_"Night Filip!"_


	12. update

Sorry I haven't updated in a while!

I went through a bad divorce som y head had been otherwise occupied.

I'll try to update soon

Thank you so much for your kind reviews!


	13. Chapter 13

Thank you all for your kind comments.

I really needed that.

I'll try to update more often.

Enjoy!

In the weeks that passed Chibs had multiple conversations with his wife, but Fiona wouldn't give him anything.

He was getting more frustrated by the minute. And everything with the MC was getting more and more complicated.

Between the thing with Otto and Tara getting arrested, the Irish Galindo deal and all that crap with Clay on the one hand and his feelings for Fay on the other, Chips was this far away from hopping on a plain to Ireland to deal with his wife face to face.

Fay was pulling away from him, he could feel it. Thank god Keira didn't pick up on the tension.

"Gemma , you need to talk to Fay. This thing with Fiona is eating her up. She needs some relaxation. What did she do before the baby and coming her?"

"I don't know but I have an idea. If she's anything like her mother that is !" she replied;" You get me her phone and then leave it to me!"

"What do yeh need the lass' phone for, she's gonna kill me for grabbin'that thing."

"I need to make some calls and the numbers are likely to be on that damm thing somewhere. Just do it Chibs!"

With that she took off.

Fay was at home yelling at her editor. She never heard a bike pull up to her house.

"That's it! You are fired!" Fay disconnected her phone and tossed it across the room, missing Chibs by a few centimers .

"Whoah there, what had the phone done to yeh to diserve that treatment?" Chibs asked her when he walked in.

"Don't !", she warned him.

He picked up the Phone and stuffed it in his pocket. He knew better then to ask her what was going on but he wanted her calm for the baby's sake.

"Babe let meh hold yeh and …"

He walked up to her and tried to wrap his arms around her but she looked at him with dark angry eyes.

"I'm sorry Chibs but I don't see how thit is any of your concern! That call was business and as for us? Well there is no us is there? She won't let you go and I'm not getting involved with you unless she's out of the picture. So why don't you just piss off someone else and stay out of my life!" she spat out.

Chibs had never seen her this angry and he knew she was right. He had to let her go but I didn't have a clue on how to do that and not end up with a broken heart. Damm it.

"Fay aye,.." he begun.

"Leave!"

"Please lov?"

She had turned her back to him and he sighed.

" Gemma needs yeh at TM's. "

"Whatever!"

There was no point in sticking around now, he had learned that it was better to leave her alone so he left.

At least he got her phone.

"Gemma you do your magic 'cause this is not good," He thought.

At the garage he handed Gemma the phone. "She just fired someone at her office in New York and was really angry with me. I know I deserve it but this is not good for her."

"I know Chibs, I know."

Gemma opened Fay's gallery and found what she was looking for.

"Oke now for names.. Juice…."

The next days Gemma was on the phone constantly and Fay worked at garage.

"Fay!"

Dylan Ramsay and Fay had been friends since they were teens. He was in a band and on occacion Fay sang with them.

"Oh my god, Dylan what are you guys doing here?" Fay asked her friend.

"You have a very determened Godmother, she practically pulled me from New york and ordered me here."

"Why? What has she told you?"

"That you need to relax and that whatever is causing you pain is bad."

"Fay are going to introduce us?" Gemma asked while the rest of the MC gatthered around to see who the new guy was.

" Dylan, this is Gemma, whom you've talked to, this is Jax and the rest of the Sons of Anarchy MC." She sighed; " guys this is Dylan Ramsay, my best friend, and his band"

Gemma looked at her goddaughter and gave her a smile.

"Fay go be with them, sing and relax for a change. I'll take care of Keira."

Fay and her friends had settled and for the first time in a long time, there was a smile plastered on her face.

Jax had ordered the MC to go to a local club where the band had set up shop.

Fay was sitting on barstool with her back to the door. She was laughing.

Dylan nodded at the door and Fay hopped of het stool and greeted her godmother and her son. Chibs was no where in sight.

Dylan's band started playing songs, some old, some more recent and Gemma smiled.

"This reminds me of your mother. She lived for this."

"I thought you hated my mother?"

"We weren't friends no, but hearing her sing was nice, most of the time."

"I'll bet she drove you nuts with songs that you hated!"

"You're mother was a pussy, so most of the songs were too. You rebeled against it didn't you."

"I don't sing on stage!"

" Yes you do!"

Fay just rolled her eyes and changed the subject; "Where is Keira?"

"With Tara and the boys. Relax this is for you!"

"Fay, get up here!" Dylan told his best friend.

"No way!"

Jax laughed at the shocked look Fay had plastered on her face and picked her up and lifted her on stage.

Fay talked to Dylan for a second and a song started.

_If I could put you in a frame, I'd draw you smiling _

_With a cigarette in your mouth and your hands reaching out for something_

Chibs had walked in somewhere during the song and was glued to the ground as he listened to the woman he loved.

_If I could, _

_if I could wear all your clothes I'd still be different _

_And if I had your speaking voice _

_I'd never whisper _

_I'd talk and talk and talk_

Their eyes locked and Chibs forgot about everyone else in the room.

_We will be winners _

_Our heads glued together _

_And all is indefinite in you_

Fay looked into his eyes and gave him a shy smile as she continued  
><em>Whatever you've been told <em>

_Don't turn to God because you're cold _

_Try the black one, _

_white is nice _

_If you want blue, you'll pay the price _

_Is there no room for us _

_I'll make a space for us_  
><em>We will be winners <em>

_Our heads glued together _

_And all is indefinite in you_

_Meet me in front of _

_the room where we kissed _

_Where you changed me, _

_estranged me _

_Where no one resists _

_Where I followed you, hollowed by you_

_We will be winners _

_Our heads glued together _

_And all is indefinite in you _

_We will be winners _

_We will be winners_

The MC started whistling and shouting and Fay turned bright red.

Chibs knew there and then , he was in love and no one was going to change that.

"This one's for you Gemma, I think you'll like it!"

_No one can hear me, 'cause no one is around_

_ But I still hear your whisper in the dark _

_I know I can go, I know I can leave when ever I please _

_But time is a jailer for me_  
><em>A face in the window, looking inside <em>

_But no one else sees it, I know _

_And now that you've found that the years have changed _

_What the ending will be _

_Time's just a jailer for me_  
><em>I shut out the light <em>

_Alone in the dark _

_This time of night Is the hardest part_  
><em>And now that you've found that the years have changed <em>

_What the ending will be _

_Time's just a jailer for me_

_I still hear the whisper, _

_your heels on the floor _

_I wait for the sound of your key in the door _

_But it's only the sound of nothing at all and so it must be _

_That time is a jailer for me _

_But it's only the sound of nothing at all and so it must be _

_Time's just a jailer for me _

_Time's just a jailer for me_

Gemma sighed. Fay was definitely her mother's daughter.

Even Tig smiled at the lyrics.

Chibs was still in shock. He had no idea Fay could sing, let alone that well. But that wasn't what had shocked him. The sad undertone in her song had foud it's way into his heart.

He was making her sad and he hated it.

Fay had taken a break and went outside to get some air when she heard something behind her. She smiled, she always senced that he was around.

" Yeh sound nice lov!"

"Thanks."

"I'm sorry for this, yeh don't deserve this, you deserve a man who can give yeh everything."

"I don't want everything Chibs, just you. Fiona is not gonna change her mind is she?"

"Neh. Aye…."

"Don't …. Shhhh!" she cut him off and placed a featherlight kiss on his lips

She went inside

_You have to go and leave me _

_Don't make it so hard _

_just run _

_It's not that big a thing- _

_You're on the other side of town_

_I don't want to, _

_don't like to _

_There has to be a better way _

_I don't like it _

_but there's nothing left to say_

_Does it ever get any better _

_Or will I feel this way the rest of my life _

_I just can't get it together _

_Now and then I'm losing my mind _

_I tried to look the other way _

_To make it through another day _

_Does it ever get any better _

_Cause I'd be with you the rest of my life _

_Yeah all my life _

_All my life _

_All my life _

_All my life_

_You just have to believe me _

_Take my word and go _

_For now you can't be with me _

_We're better off alone_  
><em>I don't want to, <em>

_don't like to _

_There has to be a better way _

_I don't like it, but there's nothing left to say_  
><em>Does it ever get any better<em>  
><em>Or will I feel this way the rest of my life <em>

_I just can't get it together _

_Now and then I'm losing my mind _

_I tried to look the other way _

_To make it through another day _

_Does it ever get any better _

_Cause I'd be with you the rest of my life _

_Yeah all my life _

_All my life _

_All my life _

_All my life_  
><em>I'm sure I won't forget <em>

_I need this breath _

_I need to get by _

_I hope you won't regret _

_The things we said _

_We need to get by _

_I need to get by_  
><em>Does it ever get any better <em>

_Or will I feel this way the rest of my life _

_I just can't get it together _

_Now and then I'm losing my mind _

_I tried to look the other way _

_To make it through another day _

_Does it ever get any better _

_Cause I'd be with you the rest of my life _

_Yeah all my life_

_ All my life _

_All my life _

_All my life_

And then ,one day, there was a note for him on his pillow at TMs.

"I'm sorry! "

Lyrics are not mine but belong to K's Choice , Anouk and Krezip


	14. Chapter 14

Fay had left and even though he didn't want to Chibs his life went on as usual.

Jax was making a mess out of the deal with the Irish.

"I don't like where this is going." Chibs thought. " Samcro is going to hell and Fay is gone. This is fucked up!"

He was sitting on his bike waiting for Gemma. He tossed away his cigarette when he felt his phone vibrate.

"What now Jackie Boy!" he sighed as he pulled the phone from his pocket.

The message wasn't from Jax but from one of the SOA members from New York.

He had told them to keep an eye on Fay and they kept in touch on occasion.

This time there was a picture included of Fay with another man. They looked cosy.

Chibs felt like a rope was wrapped around his neck and someone was pulling it.

"Damm!"

Gemma came out so there wasn't a whole lot he could do now. "What is up with her?" he thought.

Gemma briefed him about the conversation she had with Clay.

Chibs was angry, about Jax offering August Marks to the Irish Kings and the fact that he was already wired up from the picture on his phone wasn't helping.

"Do you trust me, Jaxy? Do you trust any of us? 'Cause it's not just your club."

"It might not be anyone's club for much longer" Jax replied.

"Don't give up Clay, he may be our only way into them," Chibs advises as Jax dials Ireland.

The clubhouse is on lockdown as Jax waits for the call from the Irish.

It's two minutes to eight as Jax sees a pen with shamrocks on it and asks Chuckie where it came from.

Chucky explains that the delivery guy who brought the beer left it a few hours ago. He assumed Gemma ordered the beer.

Chibs and Jax both realize what's happening and shout to clear the clubhouse.

Jax runs to get a sleeping Abel from the back bedroom. He's running out the door with Chibs on his heels when all of TM blows. Everyone hunkers down outside as the explosion levels the clubhouse. Jax has Abel, Tara has Thomas, it seems like everyone made it out. Safe, for now.

In New York Fay is fed up with the NY members of the club following her.

She calls TM's and speaks to Gemma, who tells her about the explosion.

"Is everyone okay? Abel, Thomas? The guys?"

"Yeah for now!" Gemma replies; "Baby you need to come back home, Jax needs you!"

"Sorry Gemma you know I can't! And with this I don't know I even want to." She replies;"Tell Jax I love him!"

"Tell him yourself!"

Chibs walked in on Gemma on the phone and raised an eyebrow.

Gemma ignored it and continued her conversation.

"Abel and Thomas need their baby cousin here to have some sense of a normal life and you owe it to Jax and the club to be here. Your father was first nine!"

"My father is dead and I don't owe the club anything! As for Jax I'm sure he understands why I left!" Fay shouted. "I don't owe you anything Gemma. I need to take care of myself and of Keira. And I wouldn't be much of a mother if I didn't put Keira first. If I'm not even taking care of myself, how can I teach Keira to do so for herself?"

Chibs had followed some of the conversation and he had to agree with Fay even though it hurt him.

Fay was a good mom and was teaching her daughter to be a girl with lots of self esteem.

He walked out and pulled out his phone and dialed the number of his attorney.

"We need to meet; I want you to proceed with the divorce!" he said; "Aye even with her contesting it.

Jax walked in on his VP as he ended the call.

"You're going through with it?"

"Jackie Boy, I love Fiona but me marriage with her ended a long time ago. I can pretend Jimmy O never happened but I only have to look in the mirror to see the bitter reality."

"She is gonna fight you on this."

"Yeah I know, but we have been apart for so long and me and her getting back together is an illusion for us both."

"And Fay?"

"First things first. It will take a long time. Don't even know if I can do all this from here, I think I need to come before a judge to explain. Damm Irish law."

"Did you and Fiona get married for the church as well or just by law?"

"Just by law, Fi didn't want a church wedding."

"Are you gonna tell Fay?"

"Neh, can't get her hopes up. I've messed up her head enough!"

"What if Fay has moved on by the time you get this finalized?"

"Dunno, I'll take it as it comes!"

"Good luck brother!"

"Aye I'll need it I guess."

Life in Charming was bad. Tara betrayed Jax using Gemma. The whole Irish Chinese thing and everything involved had the whole town on edge.

Now Clay is dead and Bobby injured and Gemma found herself calling her godchild.

"Hello?"

"Fay baby don't hang up please!"

"Gemma?"

Gemma sobbed and spilled out everything that happened and Fay just listened.

"Gemma you know I can't come home but I'm here if you want to talk and you can always come here."

"Baby I can't not with this Tara situation and Wendy in rehab."

"Wendy is in rehab?"

"Sort of, long story." She replied; "guess I had to pick between to bads."

"Don't go there Gemma, I have no issues with Tara so far."

"You love Jax don't you?"

"Of course but I remember the time you almost killed Wendy too."

"Sometimes you're wrong!"

"Are you admitting you made a mistake? Who are you and what did you do to my badass godmother?"Fay grinned.

"Never baby girl!" Gemma laughed;"I'll keep you updated about everything here. "

"Tell Jax to be careful about the Irish and August Marks, mixing oil and water doesn't work!"

"How the hell do you know about that?"

"I have my ways of getting information, you know that!"

"You really are your father's daughter "

"Yeah I'm dutch in more ways than one I guess!" Fay laughed:"Bye Gemma!"

"Bye Love and I miss you!"

And then everything changed. Tara's deal with the DA, her betrayal climaxed.

And now she's dead.

"Fay, she's dead, Opie's dead, I'm lost!"

"Jax?"

"What happened?"

"Too much! And it's all my fault."

"Jax no this can't be all your fault don't say that!"

"Fay? "

"Yeah"

"Come home please, I need you!"


	15. Chapter 15

"_Fay, she's dead, Opie's dead, I'm lost!"_

"_Jax?"_

"_What happened?"_

"_Too much! And it's all my fault."_

"_Jax no this can't be all your fault don't say that!"_

"_Fay? "_

"_Yeah"_

"_Come home please, I need you!"_

Fay sighed as she took in the ground that used to be the MC's clubhouse.

"Sorry old man, think they screwed up somewhere!" she whispered looking up.

She went looking for her "brother" and walked up to find Juice outside wearing shades and smoking.

"Hey Juice! Did the fireworks give you a headache or just the booze?"

"Fay?"

"Yeah! Where is Jax?"

"I think he's in there but I wouldn't go ..."

Fay had already walked in.

"Damm!" Juice thought as he went after her.

Fay walked in on a familiar scene. The sons were scattered around in different positions. Croweater everywhere. The whole place smelled like sex and booze. In no particular order.

Fay suppressed a feeling of nausea and stepped over the numerous whores in the clubhouse.

She went to the dorms hoping to find Jackson but instead found a blond bimbo with her head on Chibs dick.

"Fay?!" Chibs tossed Ima of his lap and searched frantically for his jeans.

Fay had glared at the sight and walked away from the scene.

The nauseous feeling had returned full force as she bumped into Juice.

One look was all it to for Juice to understand what his friend had witnessed.

Fay remained calm and grabbed him by his cut.

"You are going to find me Jackson and I am going outside! Give me the stuff!"

"I'm sorry what?"

"Give me the weed Juice!"

"You don't smoke!"

"Damm it Juice, give me the shit, you don't know anything about what I smoke and what not!"

"Where is Keira?"

"Still in New York with a babysitter, now hand it over!"

Juice sighed and handed her the package.

Fay walked out and plugged in the ears of her IPod.

Tig had heard some of the commotion and wandered outside to find one very pissed off Fay Whitney.

"Hey princess!"

"Tragger!" she growled

"Ow that hurt, Chibs may have pissed you off but I didn't do anything to piss you off yet!"

"Sorry Tig!"

"It doesn't mean anything sweetie, Crow eaters are just there for sex."

"I don't wanna know!"

"Hey Tig , toss me your fags!"

"What? Why?"

"I really need them right now!"

Tig threw her a pack of smokes and just grinned.

Chibs had finally found his jeans and grabbed a shirt.

He ran outside the door, trying to register that indeed the woman of his dreams had caught him with the porn queen on his lap.

He ran into Juice.

"Where is she?" Chibs demanded as he grabbed his brother by the throat.

"Outside bro but she's very pissed off." He pulled away Chins hand and rubbed his throat.

"Aye I know Juicy Boy!" Chibs ran a hand through his messed up hair.

He walked outside and found her sitting on a bike he had never seen before, a Kawasaki ZXR 400 in bright blue colours.

Fay knew he was there but ignored him.

She looked hot on that bike he thought.

"Fay?"

No reply.

"Fay?" He walked up to her.

Still no reply. Chibs became more frustrated by the minute.

He stood in front of her and yanked out her headset.

Fay was already upset about finding Ima in his lap and his action just added to that.

"What!" she spat out.

"Listen, about what you saw..."

"What, not like I haven't seen that before, Chibs, I grew up here remember!"

Ouch she called him Chibs that hurt; she had always called him by his given name.

"Look Fay..."

"Forget it Chibs, not my business!" She grabbed the pack of weed and stuffed into her pocked and adjusted her jacket.

"Give me back my earphones!"

"Nope!" he stuffed the earphones in the back pocket of his weathered jeans.

"Fine don't give them back, whatever, I'll just buy a new set!"

Fay was angry but mostly at herself. Why wouldn't he be with a hooker like that, she was the one that had left.

Chibs grabbed her wrist;"Listen to me, she don't mean anything to meh, yeh hear me. She's just some sexual relief"

"Let me go!" Fay's eyes had turned a dark shade of grey instead of her usual blues."They only reason I'm here is Jax and maybe the boys, so don't get any ideas Scotsman!"

She looked at him and just glared.

Jax walked into the glaring match between his number two and his childhood friend.

He placed a hand on his shoulder and with one look from his Prez, Chibs let go of Fays wrist.

"You asked me to come so here I am Jax!" Fay changed the subject.

"I don't believe it, you drove out here?"

"Yep!"

"I'm impressed!"

"Don't be! Dad taught me to ride when I was 14 remember, just before I left."

"Yeah but what the hell are you doing riding a piece of shit like that for? Your dad wouldn't be caught dead on anything but a Harley."

"Well I'm not my father now am I?"

"Nope!"

"Let's go, I need some air!" Fay told Jax without taking her eyes of the Scotsman she had grown to love so much."And Chibs, tell the idiots in New York to stop following me everywhere! What I do with my life is no longer your concern, just like what you do with yours isn't mine!"

"Where are yeh going Jackie Boy?"

"Don't know Chibs, where to milady?" Jax answered his friend and looked at his "sister".

"Is the tree house still there?"

"Yeah!" Jax smiled remembering the times they had spend there when they were little.

"I'll race you!" Fay grabbed her helmed and took off.

"Jackie, I have a problem don't I?"

"What happened or don't I need to ask?"

"Don't!" Chibs just sighed; "since when does Fay smoke?"

"She doesn't as far as I know."

"She has a pack of cigarettes and I think a pack of weed."

"Fay doesn't smoke, she smokes a joint every now and then, but only when she's really wired. I don't think she has smoked anything since Keira was born."

"This is bad shit Jackie Boy; she's really pissed off at me."

"I'll talk to her, but you need to tell her about the divorce!"

"Aye ain't getting her hopes up Jackie boy, what if she has moved on like she says."

"Right and her being this angry at you for Ima giving you a blowjob is really a statement on how she is completely over you!"

"Go after her and make sure she's safe."

"I Will, brother!" Jax told his VP as he drove off.


	16. thanks so far

Thank you for your kind reviews. Please let me know what you think so far. I could use some encouragement! 


	17. Chapter 17

When Jax arrived at the location where JT and Thomas had built the tree house, he found a grumpy Fay sitting on the ground leaning against a tree, smoking.

"I figured you'd be up there now, what's up?" He said looking up.

"You haven't been here recently have you?" Fay rolled her eyes.

"Nope!"

"I think it's in better state than Bobby's Fat Boy, but just barely!"

"Give me that!" Jax told his "sis" referring to the joint.

Fay just shook her head and when she was about to inhale, Jax pulled her up and grabbed the joint and tossed to the ground.

"Hey what did you do that for?"

"You don't need this!"

"You don't know what I need!"

Jax smiled. "I think I know what you want! That's why you rushed out!"

Fay was about to smack his head when he grabbed her wrist.

"Don't sis! You do not want to go that way! You may still think you can kick my ass but I'm not in the mood!"

Fay sighed;" Just drop it Jax, I came to see you! You asked me!"

"I know. I want you here Fay. We're family and we need to be together now. I need your leverage on Wendy."

"I'm sorry Jax but you can't ask me to stay here in Charming. It's not fair! I hardly know your ex."

"That's exactly why I need you here. She can't hold a grudge because she doesn't know you!"

"I'm sorry Jax, but I 'm not going to judge her by her past! You might not like the result if I do get close to her. Don't get me wrong, I want my nephews with you but if Tara did appoint Wendy she must have seen something other than a junkie!"

"You don't want to stay because of Chibs?"

Fay sighed; "I don't wanna hurt any more Jax. And seeing him makes it hard. I care about him but I'm not my mom!"

"You are nothing like Elsa! She just left Tommy and took you away from your dad. She should have fought harder."

"Dad not ending his marriage was the one thing causing problems between them; mom just couldn't take it anymore." Fay replied thinking back at her childhood;" I think he was the one and only love for her!"

"Yeah sure, that's why you have 2 siblings."

"Ohh she loves my stepdad but not like she loved Tommy!"

Fay stretched her back and looked out over the town.

"Do you remember our last summer here?"

Fay grinned; "hell yes! Ope had just started dating Donna and they were all kissy kissy."

"Yeah!"

"I was so fed up with it."

"Me too, I couldn't understand what the fuss was about."

"God we were so young then!"

"Thirteen and fourteen, I remember."

"And then you decided to find out what the big deal was and you kissed me."

Jax smiled his biggest bad boy grin.

"I was kind of expecting ... well I don't know... bells, whistles butterflies anything..."

"Yeah but nothing happened. No chemistry, just kissing my sister."

"Big sister!"

"Sure! You ever think about what would have happened if the kiss had been more?"

"Sometimes."

"Could have saved us a lot of misery!"

"Neh, it would have caused a lot of arguments between us. And we wouldn't have these three beautiful kids."

"I'm glad you were my first kiss!"

"Me too Jackson!"

"So fireworks with Chibs huh?"

Fay slapped his arm and smiled; "Yeah, the whole David Copperfield Vegas show!"

Her quirky comment caused Jax to burst out in laughter.

"I'm glad my misery is amusing you!"

"I'm sorry sis! It's just... Never mind!"

"It's good to hear you laugh little brother, I haven't seen that for a while."

After a while Jax got a phone call and walked away from Fay.

She sat down on a trunk and stared into the distance.

Seeing Chibs with Ima had upset her more than she had expected. She knew the deal with croweaters and had grown up around them for half her life. She knew she had been unreasonable and what had angered her most wasn't finding him with her but the thought of him being with another woman. She had been the one that left, so why wouldn't be with a woman who could give him what he wanted without all the hassles."

"Fay?"

No reply.

"Fay?"

Fay looked up meeting her brother's worried look.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing that you need to worry about, but I have to go back."

"Okay let's go."

"Ohh no, you are not riding that bike with this amount of THC in your system. I don't want to be the one to tell Keira her mom wrapped herself around a tree or something." He replied; "I've got a prospect that will be picking up the bike. "

"Jax, I'm fine. I hardly smoked anything , thanks to you!"

"No arguments! "

"Fine! Let's go."

"Ehhh not exactly."

"What do you mean?"

"I'm not taking you home, he is." Jax replied with a sly grin. "After you two have sorted out this mess you've created."

Fay turned around and looked into the dark sensual eyes that haunted her in her dreams.


	18. Chapter 18

"Fine! Let's go."

"Ehhh not exactly."

"What do you mean?"

"I'm not taking you home, he is." Jax replied with a sly grin. "After you two have sorted out this mess you've created."

Fay turned around and looked into the dark sensual eyes that haunted her in her dreams.

"Aye Jackie the boys need yah back home!" Chibs told his prez without taking his eyes of Fay.

He was afraid that if he did, she would take off.

With a stern look Jax kissed Fay's forehead and looked into her eyes; "Listen to him, hear him out and then make your choice sis. Things are complicated but you don't know what you've got until it's gone!"

With a small nod to his VP he was off.

"Fay?"

"Chibs!"

Chibs sighed running his hand through his hair; "Look Lass, that thing with Ima it doesn't mean anything, yeh know that!"

Fay just rolled her eyes. Chibs decided to let that one go.

"She's a croweater that's what they're here for. Just sex nothin'else."

"And you think that makes it any better. I grew up around here, I know why they are here! You do not need to point that out to me!" Fay was getting angry again.

"Fay don't ... please lov?"

Fay turned around facing away from him. She was all tense and her heart rate had increased dramatically. How was it possible that this man was always able to get under her skin?

Fay tried to walk away but before she could Chibs had grabbed her wrist and pinned her up against a tree. He wondered if it was wise but not really caring for the consequences he did anyway.

Fay struggled to get away from his grip.

"Fay." he whispered in her hair, "Please baby look at meh? "

Fay refused, a single tear escaping her eyes.

Chibs inhaled the scent of her shampoo and everything else that was Fay. His heart fluttered.

"I filed for divorce! He whispered.

"What?" Chibs held her hands together and closed the distance between them. God how he had missed her.

"Aye am divorcing Fiona."

Slowly Fay looked up facing him.

"When?" How? Fiona is never gonna let that happen!"

"While you were in New York. As for the how, Lowen looked into it and found out that the criteria for a divorce are all there so I had her file for divorce while you were away. Fiona can fight it but that will only drag out the procedure."

"What criteria?"

"There are three Lov, a lot of legal talk but in short;

1, we need to have lived apart for four out of the five previous years, believe me thanks to O'Phelan we have been apart a lot longer.

2, there is no chance of us getting back together. After Jimmy things were wonderful at first. It was like we were given a second chance but that quickly passed. Fiona and I have spent so much time apart; we are more like strangers now. We fight about almost everything now. Time has changed us, circumstances have. All I have to do is look in the mirror and I see what changed. I have forgiven Fi but I can't seem to forget. I'm just glad that Kerrianne and I have had more time together.

3, a proper financial settlement for both Fi and Kerrianne has been drawn up by Lowen and no judge will say that it's no good."

With all this said he let go of her wrists and put his hands on her waist. He pulled her close and when Fay didn't fight hem on it, he wrapped his arms around her waist.

Fay sighed, taking in all he said. "She'll fight you on it!"

"Aye don't think she will, last time we spoke I made it very clear that this was to road that is going to be taken. I think she realises things will never get back to the way they were."

"How long is this going to take?"

"Roughly 6 to 9 months"

"And you did this while I was in New York?"

"Yup."

"Why then, you were so certain that Fiona wasn't going to grant you a divorce. What changed?"

"You did!"

"What?" Fay looked at him in shock;"What did I do then?"

"You moved on!"

Fay almost chocked; "I'm sorry, I what?"

"I saw you in the arms of another man."

"When?"

Chibs pulled out his phone and opened the picture and showed it to her.

Fay looked at it and started laughing.

"What Fay Yeh think this is funny?"

"Hell yeah! Where did you get this?"

"Doesn't matter!"

"The goons from the New York Chapter right?"

"Aye! No tell meh what is so damm funny!"

"That," she said as she pointed to the man in the picture;" is my stepbrother and you of all people should know I don't fall in love that easily. Did you really think I moved on just like that?"

'Yeh brother?"

"Stepbrother yeah. You really thought I was moving on with him? "

" Why not? He's young, pretty, and apparently funny since you're laughing in the picture. He's everything aye aint."

Fay giggled; "You Silly Scotsman! I want you, only you! I have for so long!"

"Why Fay? Why would you want to be with an old, grumpy, scared man like meh who has a shitload of baggage?"

Fay shook her head and pulled him close.

"Age is just a number! And I like you being grumpy and as for your scares... I don't know what I can say to make it clear to you, that these.." she whispered as she traced the lines on his face," these make you who you are. You were stronger than Jimmy O', you survived this and came out a stronger man. That alone makes you so damm sexy!"

She replaced her fingers with her lips and traced his scars leaving a trail of feather light kisses on them.

Chibs held his breath.

"As for the shitload of baggage, we can just add that to my pile okay?"

Chibs smiled and his dark eyes met her blue ones; "Yeh sure Lov?"

"Yeah, I'm sure!"

Fay wrapped her hands around his neck and closed the distance between them, sealing their love with a passionate kiss.


	19. quick update

Sorry I haven't updated in a while!

I waiting on how the show will end in order to get the storyline in order.

In my story Thomas is older than in the show. I've tried to keep the age difference between Abel and Thomas real.

Please hold on for a little while longer

Thanks!


	20. Chapter 19

"That was …"

"Nice?"

"Neh, nice is not the way I 'd call it, but aye let's leave it at that."

Chibs ran his hands through Fays hair.

"I missed yeh Love!"

"Dito!" Fay smiled.

"Where's me little maise?"

"Home with the sitter, Jax wanted me here but I never planned on staying long."

"So when is yeh flight back?"

Fay sighed; "Tomorrow evening"

"That don't give us much time lass."

"I know. So now what? You're my ride home and as much as like being out in the woods, I really don't want to spend the night here."

"Charming then?"

"Hmmm, don't wanna!"

"why?"

"I'm not in the mood run into your little whore!"

"She ain't mine, Fay. Yeh know that."

"Whatever!"

"Come on, let's go!"

"Where?"

"Trust meh!"

"Yeah right, that's gonna take a while Scotsman!"

"I'll win it back!"

Chibs took Fay to a little B&B just outside of Charming.

When they arrived, Fay took of her helmet and Chibs turned around.

"Yeh sure about this Princess, after this I ain't going back to being just friends.

Fay stroked his face and kissed him; "I'm sure!"

She grabbed his hand and together they walked inside.

"Mornin'Love!"

"hmmm."

"Wake up Princess" Chibs nuzzled Fay's neck and left a trail of kisses from her neck down her spine.

"don't wanna!"

Chibs smiled.

"Come on Fay, we only have today and I want to spend every second with yeh!"

Fay turned around and sleepy blue eyes met his dark ones.

Chibs wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close. He kissed her and the passionate kissed turned into a second time of lovemaking.

"Filip Hurry up, I want a shower too!"

"Yeh welcome to join meh lov."

"Yeah right, that way we'll end up in bed all day. Sorry Scotsman but I'd like to talk to Jax before I go back."

"Yeh wanna have breakfast here or in town?"

" In town, I need to pick up a box of stuff my old man left me!"

"That's still here?"

"Yeah, it gave me a reason to come back here I suppose." Fay tied her hair back and applied just a little eyeliner and mascara.

"So why pick it up now?"

"I don't need an excuse now, do I now."

"Aye!"

Chibs took Fay back to Charming and ordered breakfast while Fay picked up the box with her father's belongings.

"Hey!" she smiled as she joined him.

He handed her a Latte Macchiato and smiled back.

"Why can't you just drink regular coffee like a normal American?"

"Because I'm not an American!" she replied sipping her coffee.

"So what's in the box?"

" A lot of things, dead certificate, his letters to me, legal stuff mostly."

She looked quickly through the stuff.

One letter stood out. Fay picked it up and opened it.

When she turned pale Chibs grabbed her hand.

"What is it Fay?"

"Do you know where Jax is?"

"Neh love, but Aye will in 'bout 10 second!" he replied pulling out his phone.

He called his prez and handed his phone to Fay.

"I need to talk to you now!"

She passed the phone back to Chibs, grabbed the box of letters and walked out the diner ,her coffee just sitting at the table and leaving behind a flabbergasted Chibs.

Chibs got up, tossed some dollars on the table and followed her outside.

"Fay!" Chibs grabbed her arm and turned her around;"Fay! Wait!"

A small tear had escaped from Fay's eyes.

He stroked her face and pulled her close; "I have no idea what is going on, tell me!"

"I can't!" she replied;"I need to talk to Jax first."

She placed a feather light kiss on his lips and sighed.

"I need to make sense of this first, I'm sorry."

"Okay! I'll take you there."

Jax was sitting on the roof, looking out over the town when Fay joined him.

"So!" he nodded as she sat down next to him. "Why did you need to talk to me, Fay?"

" Do you remember when I came back here after my dad was killed?

"Yeah, you were 18 and I hadn't seen you in nearly 4 years. I remember your hair was really red."

"Yeah my rebel years." She smiled;"I was so angry at the time. At my mom, at dad's killer, at the whole world I suppose."

"Yeah, I remember that , I understand you being angry with Tommy's killer but the rest was a mystery to me.

"At the time I had a conversation with my mom, she told me that my dad wasn't who I thought he was." She sighed;" I didn't want to hear it and cut her off before she could explain. I left for the States and after dad's funeral I didn't speak to her for a couple of years."

"What did she want to tell you?"

"I'm not sure but I just found this between my dad's stuff."

"What's that?

"Here!" she replied as she handed him the letter

"Paternity rights?" he replied as he read the letter;" Tommy would never sign away his rights on you!"

"Read the signature Jackson!"

Jax sighed; "John Teller." He sighed and ran his hands through his scruffy hair.

" You don't seem surprised."

"I'm not."

"Why?"

" JT has done so many things, I don't think there is much left for me to be surprised about."

"is it true you think?"

"Probably!" he sighed;" You need to ask your mother."

"I don't want to, there is another way."

She handed him a q-tip. If we take a swab now, I'll make sure they put a rush on it."

"This is not changing anything you know, you are my sis and that won't change."

"let's get it official then!"

"Fay? We need to go or you'll miss your flight!"

"Yeah I know, where are my keys?"

"No way yeh driving that damm bike princess. I'm taking yeh love!"

"I'm sorry, I can drive myself thank you very much!"

"Neh!"

"Chibs!"

"No love, I need yeh arms around me as long as I can."

Fay sighed and got on Chibs Harley Touring Street Glide.

" I can take myself you know!"

"Yeah Love, Aye know yeh can but this is more fun."

Fay wrapped her arms around him and snuggled against his back.

The trip to San Francisco was uneventful and too short for both of them.

When they arrived at the airport Fay gave him her helmet.

Chibs took her in his arms and kissed her.

When they broke apart Fay inhaled his scent and laced her hands in his hair.

"I'll miss you!"

"Me too lov, more than yeh'll know!"

"I gotta go."

"Aye know."

"I love you Filip Telfort ."she whispered.

Hearing her say those words made Chibs freak out. Women came and went in his life but no other woman but Fiona had told him she loved him and meant it.

"You need to check in lov." He changed the subjec t quickly.

He pushed her to the airline check in .

"Filip?"

"Yeh need to go Lov, can't keep the little one waiting any longer!"

" What is it Filip?"

"Nothin'"

"Yeah right!"

"Really!"

"Forget it! I tell you I love you and now you are acting all weird."

"Fay don't!"

"Whatever Chibs! I thought you were different but I guess I was wrong!" she replied her voice filled with hurt and anger.

"Fay I…"

"No Chibs, forget it! Forget about me! "

With that she took off without looking back.

Chibs sighed and returned to his bike.

He had screwed up and he knew it.


	21. please review

People please Let me know how you like my story. I need some reviews.


	22. Chapter 20

" Fay?"

"What do you want, Jax?"

"I want you home!"

"Not gonna happen!"

"Why?"

"Ask your VP!"

"I have, he says he screwed up."

"He has! Now drop it!"Fay replied with a sigh; "do you have the envelope?"

"Yeah, do you?"

"On 3, one, two, three."

Both Jax in Charming as well as Fay in New York opened the letters they had received, containing the results of their DNA test.

Fay held her breath.

"Well sis, it's official now. You are JT's eldest child."

"Biologically yes, but he maybe my father, he's not my dad!"

"I need to tell you something more, you have a sister."

"What?"

"Yeah, she lives in Ireland and her name is Trinity."

"JT screwed Gemma over?" Fay asked her little brother;" Does she know?"

"Yeah."

"And she is still alive?"

Jax started laughing;" yeah she's still alive."

Fay had no idea what to do now, she wanted to be with Jax and her nephews but she wanted to be nowhere near the Scot she loved so much.

"I got to go Jax, don't do anything stupid! Your boys need you!"

"Wendy is here."

"She is?" Fay replied; "Is she ok? I thought she had weeks left in rehab?"

"She's ok I think, she is helping me with the boys."

"Ok keep me posted, I'll call soon!"

"Bye sis! Come home!"

"No Jax, Love you!"

Fay threw herself into her work, while Jax threw himself in a vendetta against Tara's killers.

Fay had ordered a PI to keep an eye on him and Jax his action (the little info she got wasn't good) scared her.

The news that Chibs was with another woman didn't sit well with Fay.

She had never been the jealous type, but this man…

She knew she had told him to forget about her, but that fact that he was with another woman so soon hurt like hell. And a cop! Of all people he fucked a cop!

She didn't understand that the lady sheriff would go for a SON, risking her job. Chibs however she kind of understood. The club needed her on their side. Paying off law enforcement officers was always a good option for SAMCRO. She knew that but it still broke her heart to know he was with another woman. The stress was taking a toll on Fay. She didn't sleep well and her appetite was low. Every time she thought about Chibs and sheriff Jarry it made her stomach turn.

"Hello Fay,"

"Mom?"

"Yes, please don't hang up on me?"

"What do you want?"

"I know you know about JT." Elsa told her daughter: "I need to explain. Please hear me out."

"I'm not sure how you can explain this."

"I met JT a long time ago through Mary. We had a brief fling around the time JT met Gemma."

"Mom, I'm not sure that you explaining this makes a difference."

"I know baby but you need to know." Elsa sighed; "By the time I found out about you, John was with Gemma. Tom was flirting with me when he found me crying one day. I told him about the pregnancy and he took me in his arms and told me it was going to be ok."

"You weren't dating then?"

"No, that happened after we talked to JT. Tom wanted to raise you as his, I still don't know why but I'm glad he did. JT signed away his rights to you and as far as anyone knew you were Tommy's girl."

"Gemma never knew?"

"Not as far as I know. We all kept it away from her. "

"But dad's wife knew didn't she?"

"" Yeah she did and used against Tommy. That's why he never got divorced. That's why we eventually broke up."

"She wanted to hurt you."

" I guess."

"Why didn't you tell me when I was older?"

"And risk the relationship you had with Gemma? If she knew she would never let you anywhere near Jax. Ok baby but remember Thomas Whitney was and always will be your dad."

"You still loved him when you left!"

"Yeah, just like you still love your Scotsman."

"How do you know about him?"

"Your dad wasn't the only one with connections sweetie!"

"Well there is no room for this Scotsman in my life, if he is too afraid to deal with my feelings!"

"Sweetie, I've learned the hard way, that sometimes it's worth it to give a man the benefit of the doubt."

"I don't wanna hurt no more mom."

"Give him a chance, he might surprise you! You are the only girl who knows how this club works and who can deal with that. I think maybe I should have given your dad the benefit of the doubt once more, who knows what would have happened."

"I don't know mom. I need to think about all of this first."

"I know princess."

"I need to let this sink in mom. I'm sorry but I have to go. I'll call you soon."

"I love you, kiss Keira for me!"

"I will!"


	23. Chapter 21

Althea Jarry was looking at a picture of a young woman with long red hair. The woman in the picture looked shy, a small smile across her face looking down on a small infant.

How did this woman fit into this club? That was the question that played through her mind ever since she found out the publisher had stayed in Charming.

The woman was a business girl and it looked like she was clean.

But still she had lived in Charming and seemed to be held in high esteem by the members of Samcro.

That girl in the picture looked in no way like the woman she was looking at right now.

Her hair was short and she was wearing more makeup than in the picture.

Her work on getting close to the MC was working.

Filip "Chibs"Telfort was a nice distraction. Not bad looking, good in the sack and god that accent.

But there was something going on with this MC and its members.

She was sure it had something to do with the dead of their former first lady. Guns and drugs were probably in the picture too.

Maybe this young woman was another angle to follow up on.

The air in the nightclub was thick and loaded.

Fay Whitney was on stage with her friends and she was having a good time.

The whole thing with Chibs and her biological father had messed up her head. Right now Keira was with her babysitter and she was clearing her head.

Singing helped.

She had the funny feeling someone was watching her, but couldn't see anyone she knew.

Fay was singing a variety of songs. Some from singers she knew but most were songs her mom used to sing. She had grown up with the songs for the sixties and seventies and knew most of them by heart.

"Hey Carl can you get me my usual?"

"Sure Fay!"The barkeeper smiled at the leading lady.

He liked her and tried to grab her attention. No such luck though.

"You are really talented!" a dark haired woman approached Fay.

"Thank you!" Fay's sixth sense was kicking in full force.

"Althea." Jarry said as she held out her hand

Fay took it with some reservation; "Fay Whitney."

"Hey are you the same Fay Whitney from New York from Now Magazine?"

"Yeah, why?"

"I've read about you, you were one of the youngest publishers around."

"Yeah well, I've been around a while now so being the youngest is in the past."

"So are you from around here? San Francisco is a long way from New York."

"I lived in many places, but California is my home."

"It is?" this spiked Althea's curiosity; "Where are you from then?"

"Ow a little town, you wouldn't know."

"Try me maybe I do."

"I'm from Charming California originally. But I've lived in Europe as well."

"So what is this Charming then?"

"I'm sorry, why do you want to know? If you want to know something just ask and don't fish for answers"

"Ok straight to the point, I like that." Althea was surprised by her honesty. "I have a job in Charming and I have heard a lot of stories."

Fay smiled. "You can believe most of them. I don't care for the stories but you might want to rethink your options."

"Why?"

"Never get on the wrong side of the MC!"

Fay looked up and met up with her friends. "I have to go. Please leave me alone. I have left Charming behind me!"

Fay took to the stage and her friends started a new song.

"_I lay my weapon down won't fight no more.  
>Try to get you by my side.<br>Though I have been in love before,  
>But they could never take my clouds away.<em>

(Chorus):  
><em>Babe if you were mine,<em>  
><em>I won't hesitate at all,<em>  
><em>You just let me know,<em>  
><em>I'll be the one to catch your fall.<em>  
><em>Anything you need,<em>  
><em>Don't keep me away,<em>  
><em>You make me so confused,<em>  
><em>The one I love, loves someone else."<em>

Althea listened to the song. This woman had been hurt by a man. The question was, who had hurt her and how could that be used.

"_Don't stop the music it feels good,  
>It keeps my mind of me missing you,<br>Keep the rain away,  
>There is nothing for me here,<br>Without you by my side._

_Cuz babe if you were mine,_  
><em>I won't hesitate at all,<em>  
><em>You just let me know,<em>  
><em>I'll be the one to catch your fall.<em>  
><em>Anything you need,<em>  
><em>Don't keep me away,<em>  
><em>You make me so confused,<em>  
><em>The one I love, loves someone else."<em>

Fay was feeling the music and thinking back at her time with Chibs and she missed him even more. But he had moved on, It didn't matter if she liked it or not.

"_Baby what's it gonna be?  
>Is it gonna be her or me?<br>Tell me what I have to do?  
>Cause I know that im good for you.<em>

_(Chorus)_

_Babe if you were mine_  
><em>If you were mine<em>  
><em>Babe if you were mine<em>  
><em>Babe if you were mine<em>

_Babe if you were mine_

_If you were mine.."_

Althea Jarry had finished her drink and she took off.

The girl on stage had been hurt, but she also seemed reluctant to return to Charming. For now this lead was a dead end and she went back on her focus on Chibs.

Fay had a good time that evening. The conversation with Althea Jarry had stayed in the back of her head but she had put it aside. Charming was in her past.

That evening when she got home, there was a voicemail message.

It was Jax, asking her if she had heard from Juice."

She decided to text him and went into her daughter's bedroom.

She smiled and tucked the little girl in.

At 18 months the little girl was growing as weed.

She missed her brother and his boys.

She crawled in bed after a quick shower and fell into a restless sleep.


	24. Chapter 22

Fay had decided to remain in San Francisco. Her editing days were over and she just focused on the business of being a publisher.

She had used her contacts to find Juice and even tried to contact him.

He refused to talk to her.

Things in Charming were horrible. The murders at Diosa were upsetting but she didn't know any of the girls there. Thank god Lyla was ok.

Now Bobby's murder was something different. Fay loved Bobby, she had known him for most of her life. He was the one that encouraged her to sing. The thing that was most upsetting was Jax not telling her anything.

Things were getting worse and worse.

She had heard the information on Chibs and the sheriff. Fay was angry at him, at her but mostly at herself.

She kept telling herself she need to protect herself from him, from the club and everything it stood for.

And now there was another factor to be considered. The passionate night with her beloved Scotsman had left her a precious gift. Fay knew she had to tell him she was carrying his child but her pride stood in the way.

This man couldn't commit to her and flew off into the arms of another woman.

Fay sighed and wrapped her arms around her. There was no way she would let anyone hurt her kids.

And now there was silence. No word from Juice, from Jax or her PI. That worried her even more.

Fay was looking out from Christmas Tree Point on to the city and the bay, when she heard a motorcycle approach.

Not Jax and not Chibs, she knew that immediately.

"Fay?" Tig had spotted he red haired woman in the crowd.

"Tigger!"

"You've cut your hair."

"Yeah."

"It's … different."

"What do you want Tig, why are you here?"

"You need to come with me, Chibs needs to talk to you."

Fay looked up and her eyed lingered on the VP patch on his Cut; "If Chibs has something to say to me, he can come and tell me himself." Fay wrapped her scarf around her in an effort to hide her slightly swollen belly.

"Fay you need to come!"

"No Alex I don't!" Fay got angry. "If he wants to talk to me tell him to meet me at this address.

She grabbed a pen and a piece of paper and quickly wrote down the address of a beach club.

Neutral grounds! That was what she needed, to be on her terms.

She gave the paper to Tig and with a quick nod she left.

Fay tried to push away the tears she was feeling. She didn't hear him approach.

"Aye!"

"Hey."

"Why here?"

"Why not?" she sighed," I needed to think, the ocean helps."

"You need to come home with me!"

"No!"

"Fay, Jackson is.."

"Don't! I don't want to hear it. I get it all right!"

"How?"

"Tig is VP, that can mean two things, either you would be dead or Jax is." She spat out, "And since you're here one can only conclude that my brother is dead. You would never wear that patch otherwise."

"Aye am sorry lov!" Chibs looked at the woman he loved. She was curled up into a ball, wrapped up in a scarf. She had cut her hair he noticed and now she had clearly been crying.

All he wanted to do was take her in his arms and make the hurt go away. But he was part of the reason she was hurting.

"Go home Filip, mourn your brother and fix his club. Who knows maybe your girlfriend can help!"

Filip was shocked she knew about Jarry. "She's not my girlfriend Fay."

"Sure, you sleep with her and she is no croweater!"

"She needed to be on our payroll Fay. A dirty cop helps the club."

"Well I guess you fucked Unser as well then?"

"Fay!"

"No Chibs, you fucked up! Deal with it."

"Aye know lov, she don't mean anything."

"Neither do I."

"That ain't true Princess, you are the only one for me, and yeh know that."

"Do I? As I remember you couldn't get away from me fast enough when I told you I loved you!"

Chibs ran his hands through his hair, this was going to be hard.

"Look Fay, other than Fiona no one has ever told me she loved me and meant it. I got scared."

"You don't get scared!"

"Aye did lov. Everyone Aye love ends up dead or is pushed away. I don't want that for you and Keira."

"I can take care of myself Chibs!" Fay was angry; "I have no intension of dying nor was I leaving you when I told you!"

"Aye got spooked princess."

"So what changed?"

"Everything!" Chibs was getting frustrated; "Jax is dead because he didn't think straight and made bad decisions. Gemma, Bobby, Gemma, Unser and Juice, all dead. But Jax wanted a new future, for his family, for his club. That's why he gave me the patch. Aye need to make things 'right. And I need you!"

"I don't belong there!"

"Yes yeh do! You are First Nine blood. Thomas Whitney's daughter, the SAMCRO princess, the new queen!"

"Nope, Wendy or Lyla should have that so called honour."

"You belong there, you need to help me heal this club."

"I don't care about the club!"

"For me?"

"I don't know Chibs. I'll come to Charming for Jax but after that I have no idea!"

"Aye'll take all what Aye can get!"

"Okay!"

"Let's go."

"No, I'll go to Charming with Keira but I need to do that myself!"

"No changing yeh mind then?"

"Nope!"

"I'll see you there, take Tig with yeh. Aye need to know yeh save."

Fay sighed but decided not to argue.

"See yeh there Lov!"

"Yeah!"


	25. Chapter 23

"Mommy I don't wanna!"

"Sorry Angel but we have to. Why don't you go and find uncle Tigger."

Keira started bouncing around, searching for Tig.

"Why is she calling me Tigger? Do I look like something that came from a Disney movie?"

Fay smiled; "Just be happy she thinks nice things about you!"

Tig kept his word and drove them to Charming without much problems

"Tig, can you give me a moment."

Fay sighed. There we're on the road to Charming and an uneasy feeling came over her.

"What is it Fay?"

Fay sighed; "this is where JT died! Tell me the truth Alex, is this the place Jax died too?"

Tig swallowed before nodding; "Not exactly but Yeah, the same road and the same dead."

Tears were filling Fay's eyes as she remembered both her father and brother.

Tig was uncomfortable, he wanted to pull the younger woman into a hug but he had no idea whether he should. He decided to do it anyway, calculating the risk of Fay hurting him.

She didn't and just accepted the hug.

She took her sunglasses and the tough exterior of the businesswoman she was returned.

"Let's go!"

Back in Charming Chibs was on edge, with the funeral, the changes in the club and losing his best friend, he was nervous of Fay coming home.

He loved her, but knew he screwed up. But still she was coming home, so there was hope.

"Hey, so she's really coming huh?" Layla asked him as she handed a cup of coffee.

Chibs sighed deeply; "Yeah!"

"So is she going to be her as the Samcro princess or as something else?"

"Worried about the competition Lov?"

"Not really, Fay is and always will be the Princess."

"And you are and will be an Old Lady, Opie's Old lady!"

"I hope she will stay."

"Meh too Lov! Meh Too!"

"Daddy!"

"Keira!" Chibs scooped up the little girl and hugged her deeply.

Keira cuddled the man she thought of as her father.

Fay had told Keira about him and the little girl had a picture of him next to her bed.

"Aye!"

"Hi!"

Silence

"Okay, enough with this, give me a hug, cause i really need one!" Layla broke the silence pulling Fay into a hug.

"Are you okay, Layla? I heard what happened."

"I'm fine, he's not!" she replied glancing at the current President.

"I'll talk to him, but not now. We have too much to do! This club, my legacy is falling apart and we need to put a stop to that!"

"Stop it Fay that is not your call!" Chibs stepped in.

"No it's yours but you need all the help you can get." She replied; "This is my club too, not just yours! I need to help you keep this club together!"

"Layla can you take care of Keira?"

"Sure! Come on baby, auntie Layla is gonna get you some food and a drink."

Layla took the toddler away and Chibs guided Fay away to the clubhouse.

Chibs and Fay talked through the rituals and Fay approached this with the same business attitude she had in her work. It was the only thing that was keeping her from falling apart.

"Where is Wendy? She needs a part in this too."

"Why, she is Jax's ex-wife, not his old lady."

"She is the mother of his eldest son and we need to put up an unanimous front for the other charters!"

"I'm not sure she will." Chibs replied "She took his death hard."

"I'll deal with her! She has no choice. "

Filip poured himself a scotch and offered Fay one. She declined and grabbed herself a bottle of water.

She brushed against him and he grabbed her wrist and pulled her close.

"Fay!" he smelled her hair and pulled her close.

"Don't!" she whispered as he nuzzled her neck, trailing small kisses along her jawline.

"I love yeh Fay! Yeh know that, I know that! We can't change that, Aye don't wanna change that!"

"Not now please Filip!" Fay pleaded.

His face was inches from hers as he closed the gap between them and roughly placed his lips on hers.

She tasted the Scotch on his lips and felt her inner walls crumble.

"Filip!" she sighed against his lips; "I…. we can't…."

Filip wouldn't take no for an answer and pushed her against the wall. He kissed her and his hands started touching her body.

Fay shivered at his touch and leaned into his kiss.

Chibs smiled his first genuine smile in days and deepened the kiss.

Finally Fay caved and answered his kiss.

"I'll make it right Fay! I will make this up to you and I'll make you mine again!" he whispered as they broke away for air.

His hands made their way to her lower back and as he pulled her close, he felt her freeze up.

"What Fay?"

Fay sighed. She touched his face and traced the lines with one hand as she took her other hand to his. She laced her fingers with his and lay them on her stomach

Chibs looked shocked as he felt the changes in her body.

"Fay?"

She just nodded.


	26. Chapter 24

"Fay?"

She just nodded.

"You? Meh, we…" Chibs just looked at her shocked.

Fay was biting on her lip trying to read his reaction.

"Yeh pregnant and yeh never told me until now?"

He was clearly angry.

Fay remained silent, she had seen Chibs angry before and it wasn't pretty.

"Aye lost meh little girl and now you've kept this child from meh? When were yeh gonna tell meh?"

It was Fay's turn to get angry now.

"Well let's see, when was the right time then? You left me before I found out, next thing you are sleeping with another woman and she turns out to be a cop." She told him; "Or maybe it was when I found out my brother was dead?"

"Fay!"

"No, forget it Chibs, this is not working, we are not working. I won't keep you away from your child but stay the hell away from me!"

Fay walked off leaving behind a flabbergasted Chibs.

Layla was rocking little Keira back and forth when she saw Fay coming out.

Tears were running down her cheeks and Layla just assumed it was about Jax.

She picked up the little girl and carried her to her mom.

"You okay?"

"Nope, I need to get out of here!"

"Sure, where are you too going?"

"A hotel, I'll see."

Chibs came storming out when Fay took off.

"Fay!"

"What did you do?" Layla asked him.

"I screwed up again!" He replied; "Where is she going?"

"She didn't say."

Fay looked at her sleeping daughter. Once again she was upset by the actions of the Scotsman.

She was so angry with him. It's not like she was trying to keep this from him. She hadn't found out about the pregnancy until she was 10 weeks pregnant. She had been so busy after Chibs had left her at the airport.

When she arrived in New York she had buried herself in her work. The job was wasn't enough of a distraction and Fay decided to transfer her active work to her partners and moved to San Francisco. Keira loved being back in sunny California and Fay's investments made sure she didn't have to look for work right away. She had met up with friends and enjoyed singing with them.

When she found out about the baby, she was shocked and when she finally had found the courage to try and tell Chibs about the baby, she had found out about Jax. Her whole world was turned upside down again.

And now he was yelling at her for keeping this a secret, what the hell.

She went into the shower and let her tears run free.

"I'm so sorry little one, but I am not going to accept your daddy blaming me for you!"

After her shower Fay went to bed.

At the same time Filip Telfort was trying to locate Fay and Keira. He had checked every hotel in the area as well as the addresses of friends she could stay at in Charming. He had even called Wendy, even though Norco was too far away.

No luck so far. He was getting more and more frustrated. He was upset she hadn't told him about their baby but pissing off Fay enough to make her run away wasn't what he wanted.

He loved Fay and the idea of her having his baby was exiting. He adored Keira and wanted to be her father. A new chance for him. He never expected to become a father again. He was an old man and Kerrianne was nearing her twenties. But now he had screwed up again.

The only place he could think off was Thomas Whitney's apartment. So here he was. He didn't even know if she had sold it or kept it.

There were no lights on but what the hell, he was going to find out if she was there.

He rang the bell and waited. A light appeared.

He called again.

"Hello?" a sleepy voice replied

"Open the door, Fay!"

"Filip?"

"Please don't shut me out, open up?"

A sigh

"Baby please, I'm not leaving until I talk to you!"

A buzzing sound and the door unlocked.

A small smile appeared in Filip's face; "Okay that's one step closer to getting my family back."

He walked up the stairs and hesitated at the door. He wanted to knock but found open.

As he walked in the saw Fay standing in the hall.

She looked tired and there was something else. Was she scared?

"Fay?"

"Come in, quiet Keira is asleep."

He followed her into the living room. He smiled. He had been there once before and nothing had changed. It was still breathing the 70ties vibe Fay's father had left behind.

Fay had crossed her arms and was simply staring at him.

"I'm so sorry Fay, I never should have said the things I said."

Silence

"Baby?" Chibs walked up to her; "Say something? Look at meh. Yell at meh, hell you can even hit me but give meh something."

Fay sighed. "I really don't know what to say. If you really think I would deliberately withhold this from you, I don't think we have anything to talk about!"

"I don't Fay, it just was a shock, I never expected to be a father again and you turn up. Keira gave me a new chance and I screwed that up just like with Kerrianne and now a baby. I'm not good at that baby. I suck at it."

"Too bad 'cause in about 6 months you will be a father again. Whether you want to be a part of the baby's life is up to you, but you can't keep running away from everything when it gets to close emotionally."

"Fay..." he sighed; "It's all Aye knew lov."

"That's the easy way out mister Telfort. This..." she said as she placed his hand on her belly; "Is not going away!" she had said it a little louder than she wanted but she needed to make her point.

When he realised that his child was growing inside her Chibs found himself getting scared again.

Fay looked him in the eyes and at that time a sleepy Keira walked into the room. She was carrying her stuffed little piggy and was sucking her thumb.

When the little girl saw Chibs she simply walked up to him and held out her hands.

"UP!"

Fay smiled as Chibs picked up the little angel and she settled in his arms.

"You didn't screw up with her as you can see!" she whispered; "who knows you might surprise yourself mister Telfort."

Keira was nuzzling her piggy and quickly fell back asleep in the Scotsman's arms.

"She needs to be in bed." Chibs told Fay as he made his way to the bedrooms. Fay nodded at one of the doors and Chibs laid the little girl back in back, making sure she wouldn't fall out.

Fay was leaning in the doorframe, looking at the peaceful scene and smiled.

This man was so damaged, he didn't even understand that for Keira it didn't matter how many times he screwed up, he was her daddy!

Chibs turned around and looked at Fay. She looked at peace right now.

Could this be true then? Could he really do this? A family?

He decided he wanted that and if Fay was willing to give him another chance, he would try his damm best not to screw up to much again.

He walked up to her, cupping her face.

"I love you! I need you and our baby!"

"I know you do."

"This .." he pointed between them; "is so real it scares the crap out of me. I am the tough one, I need to be the one to keep this club together, to make sure Jackson's life wasn't wasted in vain, I can do that. But I need you to keep me grounded, keep me sane."

"Filip, we need to work on us, cause I'm not going to let you walk all over me. You have hurt me a lot. I love you, I think I always have but trusting you again is going to take time."

"I understand. I'll win it back lov."

"Right now we need to get through the next couple of days. We need to show a unanimous front to the other charters and I need to talk to Layla, Wendy and to Venus."

"Venus?"

"Yeah!"

"Why?"

Fay started laughing; "Please tell me you are not that blind."

"What?"

Fay rolled her eyes and pulled him close. She stroked his cheek and whispered; "Venus is to Alex what I am to you. A pain in the ass as well as his lover."

"What? Tig and Venus, never."

Fay kissed Chibs his cheek and just smiled.

She left a stunned Chibs standing there as she walked up to the bedroom she occupied.

"So are you just going to stand there of are you going to start making up to me?"

Chibs shook his whole body thinking of his VP and Venus VanDamme.

He followed Fay into her bedroom.

She had a twinkle in her eyes and gave him a shy smile as she let her robe slip down.

She was wearing a simple white nightgown. Really sweet but revealing enough to turn him on in an instant.

He closed the distance between them and pulled her close.

"You sure you want this baby?" he whispered as he inhaled her scent.

Fay smiled brightly; "I've heard that make-up sex is the best and I's like to find that out."

"You're horny!" Chibs smirked.

"Hell Yeah, I've waited long enough."


End file.
